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英语类

Hetoldmetoseeyou

网络 2013-11-26 14:26:58
Doctor:Andwhomdidyouconsultaboutyourillnessbeforeyoucametome?Patient:Onlythedruggistdownatthecorner.Doctor:Andwhatsortofridiculousadvicedidhegaveyou?Patient:Hetoldmetoseeyou!
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经济学家顾问

网络 2013-11-26 14:26:52
有一天,尼克森总统像他的阁员抱怨,希望他的经济学家顾问只有一只手。阁员纷纷表示不解,问为何如此,尼克森总统于是回答说:“因为他老是对我说:“Ontheonehand……Butontheotherhand……”
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Bathroomtroubles

网络 2013-11-26 14:26:14
Threeoldmenaresittingontheporchofaretirementhome.Thefirstsays,"Fellas,Igotrealproblems.I‘mseventyyearsold.Everymorningatseveno‘clockIgetupandItrytourinate.AlldaylongItrytourinate.Theygivemeallkindsofmedicinebutnothinghelps."Thesecondoldmansays,"Youthinkyouhaveproblems.I‘meig...
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Humorabouttheold

网络 2013-11-6 9:04:41
OLDCANNERSneverdie,theyarepreservedOLDCARSneverdie,theyjustgetrunintothegroundOLDCASHIERSneverdie,theyjustcheckoutOLDCHAUFFEURSneverdie,theyjustlosetheirdriveOLDCHEMISTSneverdie,theyjustdoitinorganicallyOLDCHEMISTSneverdie,theyjustfailtoreactOLDCHEMISTSneverdie,theyjustlosethei...
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Columbus’stelephonenumber

网络 2013-6-19 14:53:50
LittleMary:Ifindinmyhistorybookthereisalwayssuchnumber(1451--1560)afterthenameChristopherColumbus.Wouldyoupleaseexplainwhy,sir?LittleRose:Icantellher,sir.ItwasColumbus"stelephonenumber.
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Yes,thereis

网络 2013-6-19 14:50:19
Mywifecamehomeyesterdayandsaid,"Honey,thecarwon"tstart,butIknowwhattheproblemis."Iaskedherwhatitwas,andshetoldmetherewaswaterinthecarburetor(化油器).Ithoughtforamoment,thensaid,"Youknow,Idon"tmeanthisoffensively,butyoudon"tknowthecarburetorfromtheaccelerator.""No,there"sdefini...
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ISP是什么意思

网络 2013-6-19 14:50:17
问:ISP是什么意思? 答:ImpossibletoSucceedatPresent(在当前就根本不能成功) ImmenseSpendingProfession(花费巨大的行业) IndicatingScarceProfit(表明缺乏收益)
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“BadDay”

网络 2013-6-19 14:40:42
Therewasaguyinabar,justlookingathisdrink.Hestayedlikethatforhalfanhour.Then,thisbigtrouble-makingtruckdriversteppedupnexttohim,tookthedrinkfromtheguy,anddrankitalldown.Thepoormanstartedcrying.Thetruckdriversaid,"Comeonman,Iwasjustjoking.Here,I"llbuyyouanotherdrink.Ijustcan"tsee...
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新版网虫语录

网络 2013-4-8 17:29:42
“Clickhere,youcanenterit!”网虫家门铃下挂的牌子。“请输入URL地址,我会以56K的速度进行链接。”身为的哥的网虫对乘客说。“10060Connectiontimedout”网虫在打电话时突然中断时说的话。“11001Hostwasnotfound”出去购物却把女友吩咐要买的东东给忘了,撒谎道。
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Agameofanimalfootball

网络 2013-4-8 17:29:23
Theanimalswerebored.Finally,thelionhadanidea."Iknowareallyexcitinggamethatthehumansplaycalledfootball.I‘veseenitonT.V."Heproceededtodescribeittotherestoftheanimalsandtheyallgotexcitedaboutitsotheydecidedtoplay.Theywentouttothefieldandchoseupteamsandwerereadytobegin.Thelion‘st...
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Adeletedfile

网络 2013-4-8 14:41:19
Caller:"IdeletedafilefrommyPClastweekandIhavejustrealisedthatIneedit.IfIturnmysystemclockbacktwoweekswillIhavemyfilebackagain?".
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Ididn’tcometofallin

网络 2013-4-8 14:41:13
Asmallboyhadfallenintoacreek.Ayoungwomenpulledhimoutandaskedhim,"Howdidyoucometofallin?""Ididn"tcometofallin.Icometofish,"answeredtheboy.
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ASWEETPOEM

网络 2013-4-8 14:41:07
ASWEETPOEMItmeansthat...You"reahopelessromantic,aculturedpersonwhorecognizesthepowerandbeautyofthewrittenword.ORYou"reusedtocheapgiftsandliketopassyourselfoffasaculturedpersonwhorecognizesthepowerandbeautyofthewrittenword.
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童趣

网络 2013-4-8 14:19:28
笔者有个三岁的宝贝女儿跟我这个“老爸”的关系甚好,一日我问她:“宝宝,老爸对你好吗NULL”“老爸对我好.”“等你长大后,给不给老爸买东西呀NULL”,“给,我要给老爸买好多好多东西.”“都买些什mo东西呢NULL”“棒棒糖。”
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YouspeakEnglish?

网络 2013-1-29 17:05:59
"YourHonor,Iwanttobringtoyourattentionhowunfairitisformyclienttobeaccusedoftheft.HearrivedinNewYorkCityaweekagoandbarelyknowshiswayaround.What"smore,heonlyspeaksafewwordsofEnglish."TheJudgelookedatthedefendantandasked,"HowmuchEnglishcanyouspeak?"Thedefendantlookedupandsaid,"Giv...
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